you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Damn victory sex feels great
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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