you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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