Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
