hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
