He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i out mim tonsoeep
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