I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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