so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
