what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
