btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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