You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
