nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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