yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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