i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
