we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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