Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
