I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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