Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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