Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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