i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
