I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
did i just pee glitter
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
