You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
