I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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