I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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