just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
third nipple confirmed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
