He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There r osticjed everywhere
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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