So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize