You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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