Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
