Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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