I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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