Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
