Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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