Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
