I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
