So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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