I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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