STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
