just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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