I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
