I heard we made out
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
