do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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