Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
