My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
