Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
