accomplished twins. life is a go
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
