marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You were trust falling into bushes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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