there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
