ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
