He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
