He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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