I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
