these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
