I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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