So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
