HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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