I have demons in me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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