Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
