my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
