VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
