who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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