It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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