are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
